Some thoughts on 2013

I am sitting alone in a friend’s house writing this. I spent the last few days in Dallas, visiting with friends and family and letting my spirit renew itself. Tomorrow morning, New Year’s Day, I will drive the ten hours back to Rolla just in time to accompany my mother to the doctor’s office (nothing major).

I haven’t taken the time to process yet what I want 2014 to be, but I know that I want it to be BIG. I have so much that I want to accomplish: things to do, projects to finish, books to read, stories to write, and places to go. I know that New Year resolutions are often forgotten by the first week of February, but I am determined to get some things done. It’s time to live my dreams.

2013 wasn’t the worst year, though. I got a promotion and became the Director of the Butler Catholic Community. I finished my MA and graduated from Notre Dame. I interned at the White Violet Center and experienced true healing in my intern community while living with my sisters for a month. I finally became a Providence Associate. I applied for PhD programs, visited Dallas twice, KC once, saw friends who I had long missed, and met a new baby cousin (Teytin). I even started my own Etsy page.

Probably the most extraordinary thing about 2013 is that even though I was given abundant blessings, I know that I was most often unhappy—and seemingly for no reason. But instead of being sad because of depression or grief, I think that I was uncomfortable and felt myself becoming more and more aware that I am not where God wants me to be. And here I am, leaping again into transition.

For those who know me best, you already know that I don’t really make NY Resolutions and instead do these things on my birthday (Jan 15), so for now I will just share this request: please pray for me. I don’t do well in transitions and I think this will be a big year. Only God knows what 2014 will bring.